Hi Mum, sat here thinking about you more than usual. I actually went to phone you today, for a split glorious second I forgot that you had died. I wanted to phone you so much, just to hear your voice. Mick thinks I’m losing the plot 😊 We have a long bumpy road ahead of us Mum, I just hope I can be as strong as you. Love you always xxx

Mum 3 years and 5 months. I don’t think I’ve ever needed you more or felt more lonely since you’ve been gone, yet I also need you in heaven to take care of Leo. Everyday I think of him and how we should be preparing for his arrival. Has he changed Mum, does he stay a baby in heaven or does he grow? I had a dream/image the other day (I’m not sure which) it was of a lady and a very small toddler holding the ladies hand. For a brief moment I thought it was you and Leo. I really hope it was 💙🦋 Life is so very cruel Mum. First you, then Leo and now little Rafa has leukaemia 😔 and needs chemo. He is hopefully going to get better and that is something we all hold onto in the scary, dark moments. A friend set up a fundraiser for them and people have been so generous ❤️ This will hopefully allow Jad to be able to support his family emotionally by allowing him to take time off work without the worry financially. Sarah and Matt have also broken up. Beautiful Sarah was devastated and just didn’t see it coming 😢 Dad misses you and said he was almost grateful you do not have to witness so much sadness. Little Lottie will be here soon, she will hopefully be the turning point and bring some smiles, especially to Peter and Jenny 💗 Your candle at home has been lit since I woke up. It is next to Leo’s. Love you Mum always xxx

Hello Mum, tomorrow I will be lighting another candle in your memory, like I’ve done every month since you gained your wings. Tomorrows candle is always a hard one to light. How can you have been gone 3 years. 3 years without hearing your voice, hearing you say ‘lovey’. I don’t want to light a candle in your memory Mum I want you here making memories with us all. You should be here enjoying your great grandchildren, you should have an invite to Jordan’s wedding but you can’t and it hurts Mum. It hurts so much. I’m sorry this is such a negative post but it’s exhausting putting on a brave face to the world. People say they understand but I’m sure most of them don’t. How could they, they never had a Mum that was so special and so loved that to lose you was just devastating. Until we meet again Mum, we will carry on remembering you in all that we do and all that we say. Love you Mum we all do xxxx